Read Stories
My kid will never be like that!
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
Before I had a child, I did that thing that everyone does before they
have a child — I saw a child behaving a certain way in public and
said something to myself about how MY kid would never be like that.
Well, of course, then I had kids … My 2 year old is kind of in an
emotional phase right now: too little to do most things, and thinks
she’s too big to not do them herself. Her new favorite trick to play
on me is to lay down where ever she is to try and get her way. One
day, we were coming out of a Target, and she wanted some food item
that we had bought. I told her “No, it is going in the trunk and you
can have it when we got home.” With this, she laid down right in the
parking lot … and right in a puddle. At this point, I didn’t really
want to pick her up because she was sopping wet and I was trying to
get our items into my trunk. So there she was, in a puddle, with
people walking by and staring at her. Several people even stopped to
ask if we were okay, or if I needed some help. But I was determined
to win this battle of the wills, so I refused to pick her up.
Wouldn’t you know, my stubborn child lay in the puddle in that Target
parking lot for OVER 30 MINUTES while several well-meaning people
offered me help (much to my embarrassment). When she finally gave up,
she stood up, helped me get her clothes off, went right into her car
seat and we went home — like nothing had even happened!
-Nicole from Cali
Please not in the toilet
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
I was washing my face one morning, and had taken off my wedding band
and placed it on the bathroom counter. My 18mo daughter was playing
in the bathroom while I was getting ready. I closed my eyes to splash
some water on my face, and when I opened them, both my daughter and
my ring were gone. I called after her, and she came running back into
the bathroom. I picked her up, and gently but firmly said “Honey, do
you know where mommy’s ring went?” She still wasn’t talking much at
this point in her life, but she looked like she knew what I was
talking about. I put her down and she went off into various rooms,
looking around with me. At one point, I went into the living room and
was digging through her toy barrels. And then it came to me — the
toilet seat was up. I ran back to the bathroom to see if she had put
it in there, and as I was coming down the hallway, she came out of
the office yelling “MAMA! MAMA!” with that ring so high in the air
and a smile from ear to ear. I picked her up, gave her a big hug and
kiss, and we both just laughed and laughed. - Nicole from Cali
Did anybody see that…?
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
I am the typical multi-tasking, working mom, that tries to get as much done on my lunch hour as possible. So the middle of winter finds me freezing my butt off at the gas station. As I waited for the gas to pump, I cleaned out all the door pockets (garbage collection receptacles for those with kids) of my Durang-ho (as my daughter would call it!). Wearing my very warm, but clunky boots, I attempted to work my way to the trash can with my hands full of half eaten peanut butter sandwiches, gum wrappers, tissues and junk. I was being a little lazy in the fact that I tried to step over the gas hose ( is that what you call it?). My boot caught the tubing and I started to fall. Well, human nature kicks in and I tried to catch myself. So you have to picture me, my hands full of garbage, toppling over this hose. I know, you’re expecting me to drop the garbage to catch myself right? I wish. It was only garbage, for goodness sake. I should have dropped it and saved myself!! But oh no- I totally wiped out. My wrists were all scraped up, my chin was bleeding and my clothes were totally grimed with nasty gas station yuck. Of course, I quickly popped back up to check to see if anyone had witnessed my descent. Then casually tried dusting the dripping slime off my clothes….EWWWW!! Next time you are at the gas station, check out all the nasty stuff that collects near the pump! Top that with sludge, oil and gas…it definitely makes for a nasty mess that you don’t want to fall into… total chickenpucker moment!
“Get a piece of the Rock!”
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
The power of a commercial is awesome and children remember everything they hear… Christmas 1975 found my four year old daughter and I attending a school Christmas pageant with a girlfriend whose daughter was singing. As we left, I praised Debbie and her song on peace. My little girl promptly said, “Mommy, I know a song about Peace, too!” “You do?”, I asked, “Why don’t you sing it for us.” So my sweet girl sang each note perfectly… “Get a piece of the Rock”… the Prudential Insurance Company’s theme song back then! We all had a good laugh, and commented on how well her peace song was sang! -Patsy, Pennsylvania.
Do you have a buck to spare?
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
Our family had just spent eight hours on a Sunday watching our son wrestle in a state team tournament and were anxious to get home. It had been a long day. We had sat in bleachers all day and ate bad (and let’s not forget expensive) vendor food. I’m sure those of you with kids, know what I’m talking about. One of the other parents had come up and asked if we felt lucky and wanted to go in on the 50/50 raffle with her. We passed, as we only had a few bucks left. Well, finally the tournament was over. We packed up and headed out to the parking garage. Loaded up we pulled into the long line of cars trying to exit the parking ramp, when it hits me. Parking was $4.25! Crap. The only cash I had was $3 left in my wallet after the food vendors had their way with me. Oh man, as you can imagine, I started stressing out. Yet I was holding out the hope they took VISA, I mean com’on doesn’t everyone? No go. We pull up and I see the sign clear as day ”Cash Only”. Great. I had over the $3.00 and ask him to wait just a moment while my wife digs deep in her purse. Nothing. She sadly reminds me that last week she was clean out at the book fair at school and hadn’t thought to pick up any extra cash. As my wife is getting out of the car to try and run back and beg $1.25 off of a fellow wrestling parent behind us, the nice parking attendant gave us his ‘employee discount’ and we only owed $2!! Woo…hoo, now we had a dollar left over!! Thank you Mr. Parking lot attendant!!! Dave, Lawton, MI.
Hi, Mrs. Smith.
Date Added: February 25th, 2008
It was spring and that means Track Season. I loved watching my teenage son participate. I left work and needed to hurry. It was cool out so I donned my trench coat with it’s extreme front pockets astride the buttons. I warmed my hands in the pockets as I cut across the end of the football field. At the end of the long jump pit I tripped and fell flat on my face. At that same exact moment a friend of my son’s was practicing the long jump and landed in the pit next to me. We looked each other eye to eye as he nonchalantly said, ” Hi, Mrs. Smith.” All I could say was, “Nice jump”. I tried to get up but the weight of my body was on my hands, which were still in the pockets of the coat. I rolled back and forth like a beached whale in order to release my hands from the coat and to release myself from this Chicken Pucker moment!-Patsy, Pennsylvania
Hey Coach
Date Added: February 4th, 2008
I’m a soccer coach. For those in the know, I coach a u10 girls team made up mostly of 8 year old girls. We are a young and inexperienced team. My goal is to instill in them a love of the game, for them to learn the basics of ball handling, and for them to want to WIN. Yes, I did say WIN, and it’s not a dirty word. I want to bring winning back to the fore front. I know people say it shouldn’t be about winning, it should be about fun. Well, who said winning isn’t fun? I do love my team and the kids are great. But I am also very competitive. I would love to say that I’ve outgrown some of my competitiveness, but I haven’t!! Anyway, during one of our first games, we were down 4 goals. I send in a sub, and as a girl comes off the field, she says to me, “Hey coach?” Only partially listening because I’m focused on the field, I respond “What’s up?” Thinking she is going to give me some gem of an item I could use to catch up and secure a win. Innocently enough she says “Look over there, coach. My American Girl Doll is watching the game.” I hope my face didn’t give the look of pure astonishment that I was feeling at the time. I simply replied, “Coach is kind of watching the game honey.” I don’t know who’s chicken pucker moment that was… I was feeling kind of puckered myself!!
Do you even work here?
Date Added: February 3rd, 2008
I had finally decided to bite the bullet. I was going to buy an expensive bra instead of the cheap Fruit of the Loom I typically purchase. So as I walked into Frederick’s of Hollywood, I was instantly greeted by an older lady who sounded like she smoked three packs a day. She kindly pointed me in the direction of the bras, asked me my size. Without regard to color I was handed two bras and ushered off to the dressing room. Being a newbe and not wanting to look like an idiot, I went along quietly…too quietly. After only a couple of minutes, she hollered in to see if I was getting along OK with the bra. I replied I didn’t think the bra fit. Before I knew what was happening, she was in the dressing room with me! She told me I was putting the bra on all wrong. Next thing I know, she had a hold of my breast and was “dropping” it into the bra. Thank God she at least asked me if I could handle doing the other one!!
I pulled myself together and headed up to the register to pay for the bra, wanting nothing more than to flee. Thinking they worked on commission, I tell the girl that the older lady helped me. This is where things get worse. The girl proceeds to tell me that no one over twenty-five works there!!! OH MY GOD! I probably was helped by the older lady that likes to help helpless women like me… if you know what I mean! Come to think of it… I didn’t see a name tag on that women with cold hands either!
Pizza boxes
Date Added: February 3rd, 2008
Valentines tip for sending in cupcakes to school. First, I want to say “healthy, smealthy snacks”. I never remember moms sending in carrot sticks for a party at school! Sugar these kids up! Just try not to sugar ‘em up at home…let the teacher deal with one day of sugar-high induced kids.
Next, don’t send in those huge cupcakes. Older kids won’t even eat the whole cupcake. They just eat the top off and throw away the rest. I suggest you make more of the mini ones. Kids will actually eat one or two and toss away only the wrappers. Now, this is where the tip comes in: buy a ‘make and take’ pizza from Sam’s Club ( you can go elsewhere, but Sam’s is the best~ and cheap!!), enjoy the pizza but don’t forget to save the box. You now have a container to safely hold all those mini cupcakes you need to transport for your child’s class. Plus, you don’t have to worry about leaving the precious Tupperware container at school. Nothing like recycling.
IA quick caution though. I do recommend cleaning the box out, before putting in your cup cakes. You’ll have to take out all the extra cheese and should probably leave it open overnight to get the pizza odor out. You don’t want pizza flavored cupcakes, do you? That could be your chicken pucker moment, not that I am speaking from experience or anything…..