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Archive for the "Reader Submission" Category
You know what to do….
Date Added: February 6th, 2009
This story is short but really sweet. My nine year old twin daughter, Ally, was home with the flu last week for a couple days. It was probably 3 am and she woke up puking her guts out. I’m sitting there holding the pan and her hair of course, that’s what any mom would do, right? She says to me” Ma Ma will you pray for me?” I was like awww…..
So I said a little prayer for my upchucking daughter and then she went back to sleep. Well about an hour and a half later she was on a roll again and she says ” Ma Ma you know what to do!” How cute is that. submitted by Kristy, Schoolcraft, MI.
Falling!!
Date Added: February 2nd, 2009
When I was 13, my family and I traveled to Iowa for my cousin BethAnns graduation. We were there for about a week before hand and during this time we visited many of her friends. She had one friend, a guy who’s name I don’t recall, was so cute and nice to me that I developed a crush on him. Every time he came over, I was right there to receive his attention. Well, on the day of graduation, I was upstairs getting dressed, I heard a group of her friends arrive. BethAnn was riding with them to the school. I didn’t want to miss my chance to see my crush, so I decided to hightail it down stairs. Now I was wearing a dress and was new to wearing high heels. When I reached the top of the stairs, I slowed down and tried to walk down them as seductively as I could. Unfortunately, my heel caught on one of the top steps, I took off and tumbled down the steps, landing face down at the bottom, right at the feet of my crush…and he was laughing! Talk about humiliating!
That same summer, when where taking my cousin Joe’s wife to Ft. Lenardwood, MO. We stopped at the arch. There was a couple of different levels, two or three steps up or down from one level to the next. Again, being a clumsy teenager, and not watching were I was going, I slipped down one of the small sets of stairs, and right into the arms of a very cute young man. He asked if I was ok, but I couldn’t think of anything to say and bolted as soon as he let go.
Looking back, maybe that wasn’t so bad after all! submitted by Mary, Hartford, MI.
What do you do when your kids are at school?
Date Added: January 27th, 2009
It was the first day back to school and I’m a little down.. I have enjoyed my kids all summer and I’m really not ready for them to go back to school. I’m pouting around the kitchen and my 9 year old son tells me not to be sad because I can do what ever I want all day. I appreciate his willingness to help my blue mood so I ask him what he thinks I could do. He tells me that I can now jump on the couch in my underwear and no one will ever know! Which brings out the question, what are my kids doing when I’m not home? We go to school and the first teacher we run into is his teacher from last year. The hall is full of people, and he, with a loud enough voice to be heard far and wide, proceeds to tell her that I’m going to go home and jump on our couch with only my underwear on! So the secrets out if you ever need to know what to do when your all alone…you too can jump on the couch in your underwear! submitted by Chellie, Lawton MI
Pee in the cup
Date Added: January 5th, 2009
I was pregnant and was at my monthly doctor visit. You know the one where you have to step on the scale, pee in the cup and have your blood pressure checked. Not that bad right? Well when you are 8 months pregnant it really is hard to pee in that little cup! I mastered that difficult task only to have trouble with the door!! My purse got caught on the door handle and jerked my hand. Yes, the hand holding my cup of pee!! Needless to say, I got pee all over my hand. And of course the perky nurse was Johnny on the spot and right there ready to take my sample from me. I was so embarrassed!!
Men have Chicken Pucker Moments too….
Date Added: August 22nd, 2008
I was shopping at Sam’s Club with my wife and kids. They went to grab something to eat. Did you know you can have a great meal for your family for under $20.00- dessert included!! Okay…Okay…yes I know I love the bargins. Anyway, I went to the bathroom while my wife ordered. By the time I got back, which probably seemed like forever, my wife had to say (a little too loudly for my liking), ”What took you so long, your foods getting cold?” Great! Now I have to explain how I ended up with a little drippage on my light orange colored shorts from a bit too aggressive shake. Hey, I was hungry and in a hurry!! So there I was standing in front of the hand dryer for a couple of cycles pretending to dry my hands. The last thing you’d want to do is walk out with a few dark splatter spots right up front, if you know what I mean. Then while I’m standing there a couple of guys walk in, so I had to think quick and pretended to talk on my phone. But heck, who was I kidding. No one could have believed I could hear a thing over the loud humm from the hand dryer!! LOL Nothing like having to explain it all while having a dinner with my family…. at Sam’s Club. Dave, Paw Paw Mi.
Can’t get enough…Underwear?
Date Added: July 31st, 2008
You know how every girl absolutely LOVES shopping? Especially with her girlfriends right? Oh, believe me I did. Up until when this happened…ugh…
A week before my freshman year starts. Crossroads mall. Shopping with friends for clothes. About 4 hours in. (Oh yea [= AND we were still kickin it! lol) At that point we had pretty much wiped out the entire mall…haha…but we had one store left that had a HUGE sale going on, we were in desperate need of underwear, and me and my friends all wanted some…Victoria’s Secret.
This is the point where I must tell you how…childish??…my friends were. They couldn’t say the word v-string without turning into a tomato. I was THE ONLY ONE that could say ‘ DANG! This thong’s a MIGHTY bit snug. ‘ without falling over in embarrassment.
SOO, after a little bit of giggle fits, we braved past the ladies at the door, and with me leading the way, headed to the sale bins. I was the first to jump in. Heck, I love their thongs! [= lol It took them a while, but they FINALLY stuck their hands into the pile of granny-panties. ( And yes I SWEAR i tried to convince them to try some thongs…believe me i felt like a failure as a friend.) lol
About 20 minutes later we were set to get in line. Panties in hand. ( Mind you, we each had about 10 each…) We even had the coolest gay guy as our clerk. Sweet Right??
Now here’s the kicker……Remember how my friends are like SHY to the max? Well, Morgan walks up and says, ‘ Lexiiiiii…..If we give you the money do you think you could…ummm….’
OH YEA you guessed it right! THEY wanted ME to go up and BUY THEIR UNDERWEAR FOR THEM………….dear god……….
Now I’m a helpful and kind friend, which pretty much means i am easy to take advantage of…so of course, i gave in.
SOOO there i was….
standing in line with about $120 worth of clearance underwear in my hands……..
YEEPPPP.
THAT was juuuussttt GRAND.
OK so i FINALLY got up to the register….past all the people in the other lines looking at me thinking ‘ And WHERE is that Girls MOTHER…uh!…that is just SO wrong!’
I drop the truck load of panties on the counter………MEANWHILE my friends AREN’T EVEN IN THE STORE!
Gay guy looks at me with that knowing look only a gay guy can give………………
“Honey……” “Abstinence is the best way for a girl your age.”
OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DID I HONESTLY JUST HERE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
oooOOOOhhhHHHHH boOOYYYYY!
Well that’s when i went into panic mode and started telling him that i was buying these for my friends too and not just me. NOPE. I’m innocent. I SWEAR!!!
…….he just laughed his head off…..
I was humiliated that day.
I was accused of sleeping around by a gay guy…lol
Oh…and i have a receipt for 45 pairs of underwear.
It’s in a scrapbook. If that isn’t a chicken pucker moment, i don’t know what is.
Lex from Lawrence, Mi
My little princess
Date Added: July 19th, 2008
I was working as a cashier at a local grocery store when a child about 5 years old came up to me. She was a darling looking thing with her long hair hanging in her face. She handed me a sparkly princess cup, the ones with a straw in it and said, “I was looking at this and it accidentally landed in my mouth.” I am sure it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and could not resist pretending to drink from it. Her mother told her she was not getting it, and to give it to an employee letting us know she put her mouth on it. That is one of the things that can make a monotonous job seem entertaining.
Laura - Lawton, Mi
You can tell I am not a world traveler!!
Date Added: July 8th, 2008
We had some friends over the other night for a game of cards and to hear about their trip to Vegas. While sipping cocktails they shared their vacation with us…the shows they watched, the food they ate, and how they really had a great time. Laughingly, we had to ask if they still had a house to come back to (Vegas~gambling~get it). They said that since they had their teenage son with them, they really didn’t do much gambling. We began to talk about them watching in room movies with their son when it happened. I have to admit it fascinates me, that the local stations in Vegas have different people than our local channels (of course, I know they would but it’s still neat). Anyway, the next thing I know, a thought pops into my head “Hey, with the time change and all, does the 6:00 news come on at 3:00?” LOL. I did stop myself from saying it out loud at first. But since they are such good friends, I said it out loud anyway!! You know some Chicken Pucker moments won’t just stay in your head, you have to share them with others!! Beth, Paw Paw, Mi.
So that’s why boys stand up…
Date Added: July 3rd, 2008
I will have to write this anonymously, as it pertains to my son, and I wouldn’t want to embarrass him anymore than I already do. So it’s a typical night, and I had just sent the kids up to get ready for bed. I had specifically told my son his feet were filthy and to use a wash cloth. Of course he says, “Oh, I will shower in the morning.” “No way, no how”, I said, “just use a wash cloth and get most of the dirt off for tonight and you can still shower in the morning.” Well, as my husband and I were locking doors and putting stuff away, you know the usual night time routine, we hear our daughter yelling at him. Mind you he’s 11 and she’s 8, so we know nothing good will come of it. My husband quickly went up stairs to sooth things over, and then I heard him yelling at our son! What the? Quickly goes through my mind as I make my way upstairs to see what all the fuss is about. Well what to my wondering eyes appear, but my son wiping up pee in a puddle on the floor and around the base of the toilet. My husband sees me standing there with my mouth open and a slightly shocked look on my face. I’m pretty sure a sign was blinking on my forehead that said “what the…. happened!” My wonderful husband who was now chuckling, had to explain it to me. It would appear that my son for once was trying to multi- task, and was sitting down on the toilet to pee while cleaning his feet with a wash cloth. Unfortunately he didn’t think about ”tucking it down”, and the resulting geyser went everywhere!!
I had to laugh…all these years I have been saying how easy it is for men to pee anywhere. I guess us women have a little advantage, we can do our nails and many other functions while ‘just sitting’ there!! - mom, MI.
Toss me the anchor, Honey!
Date Added: June 23rd, 2008
My wife and I had spent a wonderful day boating and fishing. As much as I wanted to get in off the lake before the rush, I just couldn’t. The fish were biting and my wife looked too good in her bikini, and did I mention that the fish were biting? Well anyway, after a while we finally found ourselves in line at the access. The line wasn’t too long so everything was going fairly smooth. Have I mentioned that I was a new boater, with my new boat and trailer? I also have to admit that I really hadn’t gotten the hang of the whole truck and the boat together. So what I thought would only take a minute or two began to take a lot longer as things just weren’t lining up right. Soooo… I had my wife get out to line up the boat so I could work the trailer. That’s about when I looked up and noticed about four boats waiting for me to clear out. Soooo, as you can imagine, the pressures on. I started to get a little anxious (this maybe an understatement), so I shut the door on the truck to go help my wife with lining up the boat. After a few more tries was get it lined up and ready to go on the trailer. I give the quick wave to the line of now very impatient boats waiting for us to clear, and head for the truck.
At least the worst was over. Or so I thought. As I pulled on the handle I realized I’d somehow locked the truck. So let’s paint you a picture. I’m standing next to a truck that’s half in and half out of the water (running) with a trailered boat on the back, and there’s at least eight boats lined up waiting for us to get clear. Let’s not forget to mention it’s taken us almost 1/2 an hour to just get this far! Great! (Somehow I was hoping it was my wife’s fault, but no such luck). So with quick thinking and no patience, I grab our boat anchor and break the small window out on the back glass of the truck. Clearly since it’s so small it would have been the cheapest window to break. Well not so much. You guessed it… when I went to get my window repaired, the window guy told me that I had chosen to break the most expensive window on my truck!! What a chicken pucker moment!! LOL Well, at least my wife still looks good in that bathing suit!!- Lance, Galesburg, MI.