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Posts Tagged ‘bathroom’
Cheek to Cheek
Date Added: May 23rd, 2009
Well, my class went up to the Lawton High School and so did the rest of the fourth grade. We went up there to here a jazz concert. So everything is going fine until they started playing the first song. My stomach felt like I had diarrhea so I had to sit on my left cheek ( butt cheek) I was trying to hold it in but all of a sudden a fart started coming on. I knew if I let out that fart that all of that poop would come out. So then I crawled over to my teacher and asked if I could use the bathroom and she asked if it was an emergency and I said yyyaaa so then I thought that she was just going to let me walk down there…. right? No she walks with me and remember I still have to hold in the fart. Next, I finally get to the bathroom and I thought that she was going to go back but… no she stands outside the bathroom and let me tell ya I had like a million farts I had to let out. And I could tell she was still out there listening to me because I could here her keys jingling. It was horrible. So I get done going poop, I wash my hands and walk out. Then, she asks me are you all right and I say yep. Then, she said good, and you know that happens to me too sometimes.
THE END
P.S. this is a true story. Oh and this story is by Kristin Ann Conner
Hold it downward, Son!!
Date Added: May 6th, 2009
The other day Tom and I took the kids to Target. I took the girls to get what we needed and Tom took Zayden to look at toys. Zayden had to go potty so Tom took him in and got him all situated at the urinal when Zayden announces he has to poop. So Tom rushes him into a small stall (didn’t want to use the handicap in case a handicap person came in) Zayden tells Tom “get out because this is really going to stink dad.” Tom tells him “no, I am staying in here, but I will turn around.” Tom said all of a sudden he feels wetness and turns around to Zayden peeing down the back of Tom’s leg. Tom said he started dancing around the tiny stall to avoid getting peed on more and was screaming at Zayden ” you have to hold your wee wee down when you pee!” Tom said it got worse when a whole group of guys came into the bathroom and Zayden started yelling “oh gosh Dad, I have Diarrhea!” I am glad it was Tom and not Me! Carolelynn, Kalamazoo, MI.
Men have Chicken Pucker Moments too….
Date Added: August 22nd, 2008
I was shopping at Sam’s Club with my wife and kids. They went to grab something to eat. Did you know you can have a great meal for your family for under $20.00- dessert included!! Okay…Okay…yes I know I love the bargins. Anyway, I went to the bathroom while my wife ordered. By the time I got back, which probably seemed like forever, my wife had to say (a little too loudly for my liking), ”What took you so long, your foods getting cold?” Great! Now I have to explain how I ended up with a little drippage on my light orange colored shorts from a bit too aggressive shake. Hey, I was hungry and in a hurry!! So there I was standing in front of the hand dryer for a couple of cycles pretending to dry my hands. The last thing you’d want to do is walk out with a few dark splatter spots right up front, if you know what I mean. Then while I’m standing there a couple of guys walk in, so I had to think quick and pretended to talk on my phone. But heck, who was I kidding. No one could have believed I could hear a thing over the loud humm from the hand dryer!! LOL Nothing like having to explain it all while having a dinner with my family…. at Sam’s Club. Dave, Paw Paw Mi.
Do I or Don’t I?
Date Added: March 5th, 2008
Some of the weirdest stuff comes out of my mouth. Every day I have to thank the Lord that people still like me!! Get this! Yesterday I was picking up my daughter from her brothers wrestling practice to take her to soccer practice. As I was rushing my daughter along and chatting with some of the other parents that were waiting around for their own sons, I so embarrassed myself. Suddenly I just stopped talking and stood perfectly still. I’m sure it was only for a second or two, but it didn’t go unnoticed. One of the moms asked me, “What’s up?” I (without thinking) replied, “Oh, I am just checking to see if I had to go to the bathroom or not.” Ha! What was going through my mind…I have no idea. Sometimes what is your head should stay there.