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Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Cash or Credit…in the tub?
Date Added: May 1st, 2009
This is a little embarrassing, but what the heck, right.
About a year and a half ago, I was getting in the shower and my daughter, at the time was five and a half, wanted to shower with me. So I thought about it and parts are parts ~ so I told her sure that would be okay.
We climbed in and simply started to shower. I bent over to start shaving my legs, and all at once I felt a cold, hard, force shoot down my butt crack. Standing up in shock I turned to look at Abbigail, and she had the bar of soap in her hand. I asked her, “Abbi, what are you doing?” She said, “Just helping you bathe mommy!” Realizing that is how I help her from time to time, I was flushed with embarrassment. I never in a million years realized that I run the bar of soap down her butt crack like a credit card machine. I was thinking to myself how flipping funny it was, but (pardon the pun) I was also trying not to laugh at my daughters ~ she was so seriously trying to be helpful!! That is something I will never forget… It was to funny. Jolinda, Paw Paw, MI.
What do you do when your kids are at school?
Date Added: January 27th, 2009
It was the first day back to school and I’m a little down.. I have enjoyed my kids all summer and I’m really not ready for them to go back to school. I’m pouting around the kitchen and my 9 year old son tells me not to be sad because I can do what ever I want all day. I appreciate his willingness to help my blue mood so I ask him what he thinks I could do. He tells me that I can now jump on the couch in my underwear and no one will ever know! Which brings out the question, what are my kids doing when I’m not home? We go to school and the first teacher we run into is his teacher from last year. The hall is full of people, and he, with a loud enough voice to be heard far and wide, proceeds to tell her that I’m going to go home and jump on our couch with only my underwear on! So the secrets out if you ever need to know what to do when your all alone…you too can jump on the couch in your underwear! submitted by Chellie, Lawton MI
My little princess
Date Added: July 19th, 2008
I was working as a cashier at a local grocery store when a child about 5 years old came up to me. She was a darling looking thing with her long hair hanging in her face. She handed me a sparkly princess cup, the ones with a straw in it and said, “I was looking at this and it accidentally landed in my mouth.” I am sure it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and could not resist pretending to drink from it. Her mother told her she was not getting it, and to give it to an employee letting us know she put her mouth on it. That is one of the things that can make a monotonous job seem entertaining.
Laura - Lawton, Mi
8 Year Old Hair Cut
Date Added: July 15th, 2008
Once when I was in kindergarden and my brother was in 2nd grade, me and him went down in our basement. Well…I had a friend named Cidney and she had really really short hair. Everybody said that we were twins. I wanted to look more like her so I ran back upstairs and grabbed a pair of scissors and ran back downstairs. Then, once I was back downstairs I started cutting my hair. Well, once I was done I went upstairs and showed my parents. My parents were not happy.(That means they yelled at me and spanked me.) When I woke up the next morning I asked my mom for ponytails. My mom said” No huny we can’t because you cut your hair”. Well, I started crying because I couldn’t do it. Well, that is the story of me cutting my hair. Kristin from Paw Paw, Mi.
LOL! Stories from kids always give you a great perspective. We left it as typed with the spelling errors because we knew you’d enjoy it more this way. Have a great day!
Did anybody see that…?
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
I am the typical multi-tasking, working mom, that tries to get as much done on my lunch hour as possible. So the middle of winter finds me freezing my butt off at the gas station. As I waited for the gas to pump, I cleaned out all the door pockets (garbage collection receptacles for those with kids) of my Durang-ho (as my daughter would call it!). Wearing my very warm, but clunky boots, I attempted to work my way to the trash can with my hands full of half eaten peanut butter sandwiches, gum wrappers, tissues and junk. I was being a little lazy in the fact that I tried to step over the gas hose ( is that what you call it?). My boot caught the tubing and I started to fall. Well, human nature kicks in and I tried to catch myself. So you have to picture me, my hands full of garbage, toppling over this hose. I know, you’re expecting me to drop the garbage to catch myself right? I wish. It was only garbage, for goodness sake. I should have dropped it and saved myself!! But oh no- I totally wiped out. My wrists were all scraped up, my chin was bleeding and my clothes were totally grimed with nasty gas station yuck. Of course, I quickly popped back up to check to see if anyone had witnessed my descent. Then casually tried dusting the dripping slime off my clothes….EWWWW!! Next time you are at the gas station, check out all the nasty stuff that collects near the pump! Top that with sludge, oil and gas…it definitely makes for a nasty mess that you don’t want to fall into… total chickenpucker moment!
I can’t chew gum and…
Date Added: January 14th, 2008
I remember playing high school basketball, with my best friends father as our coach. He was a very nice man and a pretty fair coach. Back then I had a lot of energy (which I thought I was using to the best of my ability). While I was a starter, my best friend was definitely the talent…when she got the ball, she was scoring. My job was to get her the ball. During one particular game I started out strong, then for some reason I was double dribbling, losing the ball, and just plain turning it over to the other team. I was crushed, struggling to figure out what I was doing wrong. My coach, after much consideration, gave me the best advice. He put his hand out, and said, “Give me the gum.” I was like, “What?” Again, he said, “Give me the gum.” How humiliating is that? My game immediately improved. Oh my gosh, being told by your best friends dad that you can’t chew gum and play basketball at the same time is definitely a chickenpucker moment!!-reader from Lawton, MI
I need to exercise!!
Date Added: January 14th, 2008
Yesterday I was playing volleyball with some parents and kids. I’m an amateur, but I was having fun and working up a sweat. Some how…it felt like more than just ’sweat’ down there. Another mom says, ‘ Wow, I am working up a sweat!’ . I quickly added, ‘Yeah, me too. No matter what I do, I sweat everywhere!!’
I wanted to add that part just in case she could tell I was leaking!! It was my own private chickenpucker moment, as I didn’t tell anyone. I better Kegel or I will have some serious chickenpucker moments in my future!! Darn that birthing process!! I don’t think I am alone in this, am I? I would love to here your chickenpucker leakage stories!! - Beth, Lawton, MI
Wash those hands
Date Added: December 27th, 2007
Sometimes you just have to wonder. Life gets a little crazy, and we always seem to be running late. On one of our hectic Saturdays, I was trying to get my two girls and my newly potty trained young man out the door to grandma’s house. Being the astute little man he was, I asked him if he was ready to go, and he said no, he had to potty. When I went to take him into the bathroom, he said “no, I do it”. Okay, I thought, go ahead while I finish getting the girls dressed, groomed, and ready to go. Two minutes later, out he comes. Turning towards him I ask him if he washed his hands. “Yes Mommy”, he says holding up his beautifully blue arms and hands. What in the world? “What happened honey? Show mommy where you washed your hands baby”, I said with just a tinge of panic in my voice. To my horror, we enter the bathroom and my little blue armed boy points at the toilet whose lid was up. “All washed up”, he says. YUCK!
- Tracy from Paw Paw, Michigan
That crazy Vitamin C
Date Added: December 27th, 2007
It’s that time of year again. Coughs and sniffles, and runny little noses. So what is a good mom to do? I start stuffing my kids with lots of vitamin C, and make them wash their hands…all the time. Yesterday morning, when my daughter came down stairs for breakfast, I gave her the first of many vitamin C. She of course hesitated before popping it into her mouth. “Mom” she said, ” Is this good for my testicles?” “What?” I said. Again, she wanted to know if the vitamin C was good for her testicles. I,of course, burst out laughing. She meant, tonsils. I happily explained to my 8 year old daughter the difference. - Beth from Paw Paw, Michigan
Wiper to the rescue!
Date Added: December 17th, 2007
So picture this, we are driving along and it’s snowing like crazy. The windshield is mostly clear, except for that spot right in front on the drivers side. Go figure. Family is all bundled up, heater is cranked, and the kids are impatiently waiting for us to arrive at grandma’s house for the party. The gunked up spot on the windshield appears to be getting worse, and I know I can fix it. So down goes the window, kids hollering that it’s too cold, and I’m trying to flick the wiper blade to flatten it out. Well, after two attempts with no success, I figure the third times the charm. Suddenly the wiper slips free and goes flying by the window. My wife bursts out laughing, and wants to know why I didn’t catch it? I tap on the brakes to slow down and the vegetable tray that we were bringing to grandma’s house dumps over in a guey pile on the Christmas cookies. Definitely a Chicken Pucker moment.