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Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Did anybody see that…?
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
I am the typical multi-tasking, working mom, that tries to get as much done on my lunch hour as possible. So the middle of winter finds me freezing my butt off at the gas station. As I waited for the gas to pump, I cleaned out all the door pockets (garbage collection receptacles for those with kids) of my Durang-ho (as my daughter would call it!). Wearing my very warm, but clunky boots, I attempted to work my way to the trash can with my hands full of half eaten peanut butter sandwiches, gum wrappers, tissues and junk. I was being a little lazy in the fact that I tried to step over the gas hose ( is that what you call it?). My boot caught the tubing and I started to fall. Well, human nature kicks in and I tried to catch myself. So you have to picture me, my hands full of garbage, toppling over this hose. I know, you’re expecting me to drop the garbage to catch myself right? I wish. It was only garbage, for goodness sake. I should have dropped it and saved myself!! But oh no- I totally wiped out. My wrists were all scraped up, my chin was bleeding and my clothes were totally grimed with nasty gas station yuck. Of course, I quickly popped back up to check to see if anyone had witnessed my descent. Then casually tried dusting the dripping slime off my clothes….EWWWW!! Next time you are at the gas station, check out all the nasty stuff that collects near the pump! Top that with sludge, oil and gas…it definitely makes for a nasty mess that you don’t want to fall into… total chickenpucker moment!
I can’t chew gum and…
Date Added: January 14th, 2008
I remember playing high school basketball, with my best friends father as our coach. He was a very nice man and a pretty fair coach. Back then I had a lot of energy (which I thought I was using to the best of my ability). While I was a starter, my best friend was definitely the talent…when she got the ball, she was scoring. My job was to get her the ball. During one particular game I started out strong, then for some reason I was double dribbling, losing the ball, and just plain turning it over to the other team. I was crushed, struggling to figure out what I was doing wrong. My coach, after much consideration, gave me the best advice. He put his hand out, and said, “Give me the gum.” I was like, “What?” Again, he said, “Give me the gum.” How humiliating is that? My game immediately improved. Oh my gosh, being told by your best friends dad that you can’t chew gum and play basketball at the same time is definitely a chickenpucker moment!!-reader from Lawton, MI
I need to exercise!!
Date Added: January 14th, 2008
Yesterday I was playing volleyball with some parents and kids. I’m an amateur, but I was having fun and working up a sweat. Some how…it felt like more than just ’sweat’ down there. Another mom says, ‘ Wow, I am working up a sweat!’ . I quickly added, ‘Yeah, me too. No matter what I do, I sweat everywhere!!’
I wanted to add that part just in case she could tell I was leaking!! It was my own private chickenpucker moment, as I didn’t tell anyone. I better Kegel or I will have some serious chickenpucker moments in my future!! Darn that birthing process!! I don’t think I am alone in this, am I? I would love to here your chickenpucker leakage stories!! - Beth, Lawton, MI
Wash those hands
Date Added: December 27th, 2007
Sometimes you just have to wonder. Life gets a little crazy, and we always seem to be running late. On one of our hectic Saturdays, I was trying to get my two girls and my newly potty trained young man out the door to grandma’s house. Being the astute little man he was, I asked him if he was ready to go, and he said no, he had to potty. When I went to take him into the bathroom, he said “no, I do it”. Okay, I thought, go ahead while I finish getting the girls dressed, groomed, and ready to go. Two minutes later, out he comes. Turning towards him I ask him if he washed his hands. “Yes Mommy”, he says holding up his beautifully blue arms and hands. What in the world? “What happened honey? Show mommy where you washed your hands baby”, I said with just a tinge of panic in my voice. To my horror, we enter the bathroom and my little blue armed boy points at the toilet whose lid was up. “All washed up”, he says. YUCK!
- Tracy from Paw Paw, Michigan
That crazy Vitamin C
Date Added: December 27th, 2007
It’s that time of year again. Coughs and sniffles, and runny little noses. So what is a good mom to do? I start stuffing my kids with lots of vitamin C, and make them wash their hands…all the time. Yesterday morning, when my daughter came down stairs for breakfast, I gave her the first of many vitamin C. She of course hesitated before popping it into her mouth. “Mom” she said, ” Is this good for my testicles?” “What?” I said. Again, she wanted to know if the vitamin C was good for her testicles. I,of course, burst out laughing. She meant, tonsils. I happily explained to my 8 year old daughter the difference. - Beth from Paw Paw, Michigan
Wiper to the rescue!
Date Added: December 17th, 2007
So picture this, we are driving along and it’s snowing like crazy. The windshield is mostly clear, except for that spot right in front on the drivers side. Go figure. Family is all bundled up, heater is cranked, and the kids are impatiently waiting for us to arrive at grandma’s house for the party. The gunked up spot on the windshield appears to be getting worse, and I know I can fix it. So down goes the window, kids hollering that it’s too cold, and I’m trying to flick the wiper blade to flatten it out. Well, after two attempts with no success, I figure the third times the charm. Suddenly the wiper slips free and goes flying by the window. My wife bursts out laughing, and wants to know why I didn’t catch it? I tap on the brakes to slow down and the vegetable tray that we were bringing to grandma’s house dumps over in a guey pile on the Christmas cookies. Definitely a Chicken Pucker moment.