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Posts Tagged ‘kids’
So that’s why boys stand up…
Date Added: July 3rd, 2008
I will have to write this anonymously, as it pertains to my son, and I wouldn’t want to embarrass him anymore than I already do. So it’s a typical night, and I had just sent the kids up to get ready for bed. I had specifically told my son his feet were filthy and to use a wash cloth. Of course he says, “Oh, I will shower in the morning.” “No way, no how”, I said, “just use a wash cloth and get most of the dirt off for tonight and you can still shower in the morning.” Well, as my husband and I were locking doors and putting stuff away, you know the usual night time routine, we hear our daughter yelling at him. Mind you he’s 11 and she’s 8, so we know nothing good will come of it. My husband quickly went up stairs to sooth things over, and then I heard him yelling at our son! What the? Quickly goes through my mind as I make my way upstairs to see what all the fuss is about. Well what to my wondering eyes appear, but my son wiping up pee in a puddle on the floor and around the base of the toilet. My husband sees me standing there with my mouth open and a slightly shocked look on my face. I’m pretty sure a sign was blinking on my forehead that said “what the…. happened!” My wonderful husband who was now chuckling, had to explain it to me. It would appear that my son for once was trying to multi- task, and was sitting down on the toilet to pee while cleaning his feet with a wash cloth. Unfortunately he didn’t think about ”tucking it down”, and the resulting geyser went everywhere!!
I had to laugh…all these years I have been saying how easy it is for men to pee anywhere. I guess us women have a little advantage, we can do our nails and many other functions while ‘just sitting’ there!! - mom, MI.
Honey, you have a hole in your pants!!
Date Added: May 28th, 2008
I volunteered to help my son’s baseball team by coaching first base. I have to admit I was a little nervous but thought things were going pretty well until….. My husband decided to yell in front of everyone, “Honey, you have a hole in your pants!” I still had two more innings to go! Thank goodness for an over-sized sweatshirt. A couple of the parents had a quick laugh, but thankfully none of the baseball team heard it. I can only image what a team of 11 to 12 year old boys would have said, not to mention that my son would have been mortified.
Paw Paw, Michigan
Listen Mom, my shoe is….
Date Added: May 28th, 2008
I was at my son’s middle school orientation and we were checking out the lockers when I heard a familiar sounding voice. It was one of my sons friends and her mom, and boy was she just a giggling away. She happened to be wearing her cute little Croc’s sandals and was walking as quickly as she could to keep up with her mom. Every other quick little step was followed by a very familiar and funny noise. Laughing and giggling she loudly proclaimed ”Listen, Mom, my shoe is farting!” LOL! Boy, I wish I could have embraced my Chicken Pucker movement when I was in middle school. It would have been so much less traumatic. Ha…You go girl!
Lawton, Mi.
My kid will never be like that!
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
Before I had a child, I did that thing that everyone does before they
have a child — I saw a child behaving a certain way in public and
said something to myself about how MY kid would never be like that.
Well, of course, then I had kids … My 2 year old is kind of in an
emotional phase right now: too little to do most things, and thinks
she’s too big to not do them herself. Her new favorite trick to play
on me is to lay down where ever she is to try and get her way. One
day, we were coming out of a Target, and she wanted some food item
that we had bought. I told her “No, it is going in the trunk and you
can have it when we got home.” With this, she laid down right in the
parking lot … and right in a puddle. At this point, I didn’t really
want to pick her up because she was sopping wet and I was trying to
get our items into my trunk. So there she was, in a puddle, with
people walking by and staring at her. Several people even stopped to
ask if we were okay, or if I needed some help. But I was determined
to win this battle of the wills, so I refused to pick her up.
Wouldn’t you know, my stubborn child lay in the puddle in that Target
parking lot for OVER 30 MINUTES while several well-meaning people
offered me help (much to my embarrassment). When she finally gave up,
she stood up, helped me get her clothes off, went right into her car
seat and we went home — like nothing had even happened!
-Nicole from Cali
Please not in the toilet
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
I was washing my face one morning, and had taken off my wedding band
and placed it on the bathroom counter. My 18mo daughter was playing
in the bathroom while I was getting ready. I closed my eyes to splash
some water on my face, and when I opened them, both my daughter and
my ring were gone. I called after her, and she came running back into
the bathroom. I picked her up, and gently but firmly said “Honey, do
you know where mommy’s ring went?” She still wasn’t talking much at
this point in her life, but she looked like she knew what I was
talking about. I put her down and she went off into various rooms,
looking around with me. At one point, I went into the living room and
was digging through her toy barrels. And then it came to me — the
toilet seat was up. I ran back to the bathroom to see if she had put
it in there, and as I was coming down the hallway, she came out of
the office yelling “MAMA! MAMA!” with that ring so high in the air
and a smile from ear to ear. I picked her up, gave her a big hug and
kiss, and we both just laughed and laughed. - Nicole from Cali
“Get a piece of the Rock!”
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
The power of a commercial is awesome and children remember everything they hear… Christmas 1975 found my four year old daughter and I attending a school Christmas pageant with a girlfriend whose daughter was singing. As we left, I praised Debbie and her song on peace. My little girl promptly said, “Mommy, I know a song about Peace, too!” “You do?”, I asked, “Why don’t you sing it for us.” So my sweet girl sang each note perfectly… “Get a piece of the Rock”… the Prudential Insurance Company’s theme song back then! We all had a good laugh, and commented on how well her peace song was sang! -Patsy, Pennsylvania.
Hi, Mrs. Smith.
Date Added: February 25th, 2008
It was spring and that means Track Season. I loved watching my teenage son participate. I left work and needed to hurry. It was cool out so I donned my trench coat with it’s extreme front pockets astride the buttons. I warmed my hands in the pockets as I cut across the end of the football field. At the end of the long jump pit I tripped and fell flat on my face. At that same exact moment a friend of my son’s was practicing the long jump and landed in the pit next to me. We looked each other eye to eye as he nonchalantly said, ” Hi, Mrs. Smith.” All I could say was, “Nice jump”. I tried to get up but the weight of my body was on my hands, which were still in the pockets of the coat. I rolled back and forth like a beached whale in order to release my hands from the coat and to release myself from this Chicken Pucker moment!-Patsy, Pennsylvania
Hey Coach
Date Added: February 4th, 2008
I’m a soccer coach. For those in the know, I coach a u10 girls team made up mostly of 8 year old girls. We are a young and inexperienced team. My goal is to instill in them a love of the game, for them to learn the basics of ball handling, and for them to want to WIN. Yes, I did say WIN, and it’s not a dirty word. I want to bring winning back to the fore front. I know people say it shouldn’t be about winning, it should be about fun. Well, who said winning isn’t fun? I do love my team and the kids are great. But I am also very competitive. I would love to say that I’ve outgrown some of my competitiveness, but I haven’t!! Anyway, during one of our first games, we were down 4 goals. I send in a sub, and as a girl comes off the field, she says to me, “Hey coach?” Only partially listening because I’m focused on the field, I respond “What’s up?” Thinking she is going to give me some gem of an item I could use to catch up and secure a win. Innocently enough she says “Look over there, coach. My American Girl Doll is watching the game.” I hope my face didn’t give the look of pure astonishment that I was feeling at the time. I simply replied, “Coach is kind of watching the game honey.” I don’t know who’s chicken pucker moment that was… I was feeling kind of puckered myself!!
I love it…but I’m grounded!
Date Added: January 30th, 2008
I received the best thank you from my 6 year old niece the other day. My sister is way too fast with those~ she really puts me to shame!! Anyway, we had went to their house for my nieces birthday party of pizza, cake and ice cream. You know, the typical family birthday stuff. My niece was tearing through her presents with great enthusiasm, when she came to ours. Her first personal cd player, or as we like to call it~ a hillbilly mp3 player! Apparently, she loved it! She was walking around listening to Hannah Montana all day!! She so looked 16 not 6!! A few days later we received a thank you note from her. She thanked us for coming and for the cd player. She loved it so much! She would be listening to it today, but her mother has grounded her from it. Ha! Just think, her chicken pucker moment at such a young age!!
Good for my body parts
Date Added: January 25th, 2008
During cold and flu season, I am like an army general when it comes to fighting germs. So when my 8 year old daughter was starting to show the signs of getting a cold, I don’t hold back. At dinnertime, I reminded her to take her vitamin C. When I was getting her chewable tablet out (her third of the day) she says to me, “Mom, are you sure these are good for my testicles?” My jaw dropped. “Your what?” I said. She innocently replies “My testicles.” Chuckling it dawned on me what she was really talking about. ”Honey, I think you mean… your tonsils.” My slightly embarrassed daughter eeks out “Oh, yeah. That’s what I meant.”
So much for being open and honest with body parts…