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Posts Tagged ‘kids’
Cheek to Cheek
Date Added: May 23rd, 2009
Well, my class went up to the Lawton High School and so did the rest of the fourth grade. We went up there to here a jazz concert. So everything is going fine until they started playing the first song. My stomach felt like I had diarrhea so I had to sit on my left cheek ( butt cheek) I was trying to hold it in but all of a sudden a fart started coming on. I knew if I let out that fart that all of that poop would come out. So then I crawled over to my teacher and asked if I could use the bathroom and she asked if it was an emergency and I said yyyaaa so then I thought that she was just going to let me walk down there…. right? No she walks with me and remember I still have to hold in the fart. Next, I finally get to the bathroom and I thought that she was going to go back but… no she stands outside the bathroom and let me tell ya I had like a million farts I had to let out. And I could tell she was still out there listening to me because I could here her keys jingling. It was horrible. So I get done going poop, I wash my hands and walk out. Then, she asks me are you all right and I say yep. Then, she said good, and you know that happens to me too sometimes.
THE END
P.S. this is a true story. Oh and this story is by Kristin Ann Conner
Hold it downward, Son!!
Date Added: May 6th, 2009
The other day Tom and I took the kids to Target. I took the girls to get what we needed and Tom took Zayden to look at toys. Zayden had to go potty so Tom took him in and got him all situated at the urinal when Zayden announces he has to poop. So Tom rushes him into a small stall (didn’t want to use the handicap in case a handicap person came in) Zayden tells Tom “get out because this is really going to stink dad.” Tom tells him “no, I am staying in here, but I will turn around.” Tom said all of a sudden he feels wetness and turns around to Zayden peeing down the back of Tom’s leg. Tom said he started dancing around the tiny stall to avoid getting peed on more and was screaming at Zayden ” you have to hold your wee wee down when you pee!” Tom said it got worse when a whole group of guys came into the bathroom and Zayden started yelling “oh gosh Dad, I have Diarrhea!” I am glad it was Tom and not Me! Carolelynn, Kalamazoo, MI.
Cash or Credit…in the tub?
Date Added: May 1st, 2009
This is a little embarrassing, but what the heck, right.
About a year and a half ago, I was getting in the shower and my daughter, at the time was five and a half, wanted to shower with me. So I thought about it and parts are parts ~ so I told her sure that would be okay.
We climbed in and simply started to shower. I bent over to start shaving my legs, and all at once I felt a cold, hard, force shoot down my butt crack. Standing up in shock I turned to look at Abbigail, and she had the bar of soap in her hand. I asked her, “Abbi, what are you doing?” She said, “Just helping you bathe mommy!” Realizing that is how I help her from time to time, I was flushed with embarrassment. I never in a million years realized that I run the bar of soap down her butt crack like a credit card machine. I was thinking to myself how flipping funny it was, but (pardon the pun) I was also trying not to laugh at my daughters ~ she was so seriously trying to be helpful!! That is something I will never forget… It was to funny. Jolinda, Paw Paw, MI.
You know what to do….
Date Added: February 6th, 2009
This story is short but really sweet. My nine year old twin daughter, Ally, was home with the flu last week for a couple days. It was probably 3 am and she woke up puking her guts out. I’m sitting there holding the pan and her hair of course, that’s what any mom would do, right? She says to me” Ma Ma will you pray for me?” I was like awww…..
So I said a little prayer for my upchucking daughter and then she went back to sleep. Well about an hour and a half later she was on a roll again and she says ” Ma Ma you know what to do!” How cute is that. submitted by Kristy, Schoolcraft, MI.
What do you do when your kids are at school?
Date Added: January 27th, 2009
It was the first day back to school and I’m a little down.. I have enjoyed my kids all summer and I’m really not ready for them to go back to school. I’m pouting around the kitchen and my 9 year old son tells me not to be sad because I can do what ever I want all day. I appreciate his willingness to help my blue mood so I ask him what he thinks I could do. He tells me that I can now jump on the couch in my underwear and no one will ever know! Which brings out the question, what are my kids doing when I’m not home? We go to school and the first teacher we run into is his teacher from last year. The hall is full of people, and he, with a loud enough voice to be heard far and wide, proceeds to tell her that I’m going to go home and jump on our couch with only my underwear on! So the secrets out if you ever need to know what to do when your all alone…you too can jump on the couch in your underwear! submitted by Chellie, Lawton MI
My little princess
Date Added: July 19th, 2008
I was working as a cashier at a local grocery store when a child about 5 years old came up to me. She was a darling looking thing with her long hair hanging in her face. She handed me a sparkly princess cup, the ones with a straw in it and said, “I was looking at this and it accidentally landed in my mouth.” I am sure it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and could not resist pretending to drink from it. Her mother told her she was not getting it, and to give it to an employee letting us know she put her mouth on it. That is one of the things that can make a monotonous job seem entertaining.
Laura - Lawton, Mi
8 Year Old Hair Cut
Date Added: July 15th, 2008
Once when I was in kindergarden and my brother was in 2nd grade, me and him went down in our basement. Well…I had a friend named Cidney and she had really really short hair. Everybody said that we were twins. I wanted to look more like her so I ran back upstairs and grabbed a pair of scissors and ran back downstairs. Then, once I was back downstairs I started cutting my hair. Well, once I was done I went upstairs and showed my parents. My parents were not happy.(That means they yelled at me and spanked me.) When I woke up the next morning I asked my mom for ponytails. My mom said” No huny we can’t because you cut your hair”. Well, I started crying because I couldn’t do it. Well, that is the story of me cutting my hair. Kristin from Paw Paw, Mi.
LOL! Stories from kids always give you a great perspective. We left it as typed with the spelling errors because we knew you’d enjoy it more this way. Have a great day!
So that’s why boys stand up…
Date Added: July 3rd, 2008
I will have to write this anonymously, as it pertains to my son, and I wouldn’t want to embarrass him anymore than I already do. So it’s a typical night, and I had just sent the kids up to get ready for bed. I had specifically told my son his feet were filthy and to use a wash cloth. Of course he says, “Oh, I will shower in the morning.” “No way, no how”, I said, “just use a wash cloth and get most of the dirt off for tonight and you can still shower in the morning.” Well, as my husband and I were locking doors and putting stuff away, you know the usual night time routine, we hear our daughter yelling at him. Mind you he’s 11 and she’s 8, so we know nothing good will come of it. My husband quickly went up stairs to sooth things over, and then I heard him yelling at our son! What the? Quickly goes through my mind as I make my way upstairs to see what all the fuss is about. Well what to my wondering eyes appear, but my son wiping up pee in a puddle on the floor and around the base of the toilet. My husband sees me standing there with my mouth open and a slightly shocked look on my face. I’m pretty sure a sign was blinking on my forehead that said “what the…. happened!” My wonderful husband who was now chuckling, had to explain it to me. It would appear that my son for once was trying to multi- task, and was sitting down on the toilet to pee while cleaning his feet with a wash cloth. Unfortunately he didn’t think about ”tucking it down”, and the resulting geyser went everywhere!!
I had to laugh…all these years I have been saying how easy it is for men to pee anywhere. I guess us women have a little advantage, we can do our nails and many other functions while ‘just sitting’ there!! - mom, MI.
Honey, you have a hole in your pants!!
Date Added: May 28th, 2008
I volunteered to help my son’s baseball team by coaching first base. I have to admit I was a little nervous but thought things were going pretty well until….. My husband decided to yell in front of everyone, “Honey, you have a hole in your pants!” I still had two more innings to go! Thank goodness for an over-sized sweatshirt. A couple of the parents had a quick laugh, but thankfully none of the baseball team heard it. I can only image what a team of 11 to 12 year old boys would have said, not to mention that my son would have been mortified.
Paw Paw, Michigan
Listen Mom, my shoe is….
Date Added: May 28th, 2008
I was at my son’s middle school orientation and we were checking out the lockers when I heard a familiar sounding voice. It was one of my sons friends and her mom, and boy was she just a giggling away. She happened to be wearing her cute little Croc’s sandals and was walking as quickly as she could to keep up with her mom. Every other quick little step was followed by a very familiar and funny noise. Laughing and giggling she loudly proclaimed ”Listen, Mom, my shoe is farting!” LOL! Boy, I wish I could have embraced my Chicken Pucker movement when I was in middle school. It would have been so much less traumatic. Ha…You go girl!
Lawton, Mi.