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Posts Tagged ‘moms’
Honey, you have a hole in your pants!!
Date Added: May 28th, 2008
I volunteered to help my son’s baseball team by coaching first base. I have to admit I was a little nervous but thought things were going pretty well until….. My husband decided to yell in front of everyone, “Honey, you have a hole in your pants!” I still had two more innings to go! Thank goodness for an over-sized sweatshirt. A couple of the parents had a quick laugh, but thankfully none of the baseball team heard it. I can only image what a team of 11 to 12 year old boys would have said, not to mention that my son would have been mortified.
Paw Paw, Michigan
Listen Mom, my shoe is….
Date Added: May 28th, 2008
I was at my son’s middle school orientation and we were checking out the lockers when I heard a familiar sounding voice. It was one of my sons friends and her mom, and boy was she just a giggling away. She happened to be wearing her cute little Croc’s sandals and was walking as quickly as she could to keep up with her mom. Every other quick little step was followed by a very familiar and funny noise. Laughing and giggling she loudly proclaimed ”Listen, Mom, my shoe is farting!” LOL! Boy, I wish I could have embraced my Chicken Pucker movement when I was in middle school. It would have been so much less traumatic. Ha…You go girl!
Lawton, Mi.
My kid will never be like that!
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
Before I had a child, I did that thing that everyone does before they
have a child — I saw a child behaving a certain way in public and
said something to myself about how MY kid would never be like that.
Well, of course, then I had kids … My 2 year old is kind of in an
emotional phase right now: too little to do most things, and thinks
she’s too big to not do them herself. Her new favorite trick to play
on me is to lay down where ever she is to try and get her way. One
day, we were coming out of a Target, and she wanted some food item
that we had bought. I told her “No, it is going in the trunk and you
can have it when we got home.” With this, she laid down right in the
parking lot … and right in a puddle. At this point, I didn’t really
want to pick her up because she was sopping wet and I was trying to
get our items into my trunk. So there she was, in a puddle, with
people walking by and staring at her. Several people even stopped to
ask if we were okay, or if I needed some help. But I was determined
to win this battle of the wills, so I refused to pick her up.
Wouldn’t you know, my stubborn child lay in the puddle in that Target
parking lot for OVER 30 MINUTES while several well-meaning people
offered me help (much to my embarrassment). When she finally gave up,
she stood up, helped me get her clothes off, went right into her car
seat and we went home — like nothing had even happened!
-Nicole from Cali
Please not in the toilet
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
I was washing my face one morning, and had taken off my wedding band
and placed it on the bathroom counter. My 18mo daughter was playing
in the bathroom while I was getting ready. I closed my eyes to splash
some water on my face, and when I opened them, both my daughter and
my ring were gone. I called after her, and she came running back into
the bathroom. I picked her up, and gently but firmly said “Honey, do
you know where mommy’s ring went?” She still wasn’t talking much at
this point in her life, but she looked like she knew what I was
talking about. I put her down and she went off into various rooms,
looking around with me. At one point, I went into the living room and
was digging through her toy barrels. And then it came to me — the
toilet seat was up. I ran back to the bathroom to see if she had put
it in there, and as I was coming down the hallway, she came out of
the office yelling “MAMA! MAMA!” with that ring so high in the air
and a smile from ear to ear. I picked her up, gave her a big hug and
kiss, and we both just laughed and laughed. - Nicole from Cali
Did anybody see that…?
Date Added: March 19th, 2008
I am the typical multi-tasking, working mom, that tries to get as much done on my lunch hour as possible. So the middle of winter finds me freezing my butt off at the gas station. As I waited for the gas to pump, I cleaned out all the door pockets (garbage collection receptacles for those with kids) of my Durang-ho (as my daughter would call it!). Wearing my very warm, but clunky boots, I attempted to work my way to the trash can with my hands full of half eaten peanut butter sandwiches, gum wrappers, tissues and junk. I was being a little lazy in the fact that I tried to step over the gas hose ( is that what you call it?). My boot caught the tubing and I started to fall. Well, human nature kicks in and I tried to catch myself. So you have to picture me, my hands full of garbage, toppling over this hose. I know, you’re expecting me to drop the garbage to catch myself right? I wish. It was only garbage, for goodness sake. I should have dropped it and saved myself!! But oh no- I totally wiped out. My wrists were all scraped up, my chin was bleeding and my clothes were totally grimed with nasty gas station yuck. Of course, I quickly popped back up to check to see if anyone had witnessed my descent. Then casually tried dusting the dripping slime off my clothes….EWWWW!! Next time you are at the gas station, check out all the nasty stuff that collects near the pump! Top that with sludge, oil and gas…it definitely makes for a nasty mess that you don’t want to fall into… total chickenpucker moment!
Pizza boxes
Date Added: February 3rd, 2008
Valentines tip for sending in cupcakes to school. First, I want to say “healthy, smealthy snacks”. I never remember moms sending in carrot sticks for a party at school! Sugar these kids up! Just try not to sugar ‘em up at home…let the teacher deal with one day of sugar-high induced kids.
Next, don’t send in those huge cupcakes. Older kids won’t even eat the whole cupcake. They just eat the top off and throw away the rest. I suggest you make more of the mini ones. Kids will actually eat one or two and toss away only the wrappers. Now, this is where the tip comes in: buy a ‘make and take’ pizza from Sam’s Club ( you can go elsewhere, but Sam’s is the best~ and cheap!!), enjoy the pizza but don’t forget to save the box. You now have a container to safely hold all those mini cupcakes you need to transport for your child’s class. Plus, you don’t have to worry about leaving the precious Tupperware container at school. Nothing like recycling.
IA quick caution though. I do recommend cleaning the box out, before putting in your cup cakes. You’ll have to take out all the extra cheese and should probably leave it open overnight to get the pizza odor out. You don’t want pizza flavored cupcakes, do you? That could be your chicken pucker moment, not that I am speaking from experience or anything…..
I love it…but I’m grounded!
Date Added: January 30th, 2008
I received the best thank you from my 6 year old niece the other day. My sister is way too fast with those~ she really puts me to shame!! Anyway, we had went to their house for my nieces birthday party of pizza, cake and ice cream. You know, the typical family birthday stuff. My niece was tearing through her presents with great enthusiasm, when she came to ours. Her first personal cd player, or as we like to call it~ a hillbilly mp3 player! Apparently, she loved it! She was walking around listening to Hannah Montana all day!! She so looked 16 not 6!! A few days later we received a thank you note from her. She thanked us for coming and for the cd player. She loved it so much! She would be listening to it today, but her mother has grounded her from it. Ha! Just think, her chicken pucker moment at such a young age!!
Good for my body parts
Date Added: January 25th, 2008
During cold and flu season, I am like an army general when it comes to fighting germs. So when my 8 year old daughter was starting to show the signs of getting a cold, I don’t hold back. At dinnertime, I reminded her to take her vitamin C. When I was getting her chewable tablet out (her third of the day) she says to me, “Mom, are you sure these are good for my testicles?” My jaw dropped. “Your what?” I said. She innocently replies “My testicles.” Chuckling it dawned on me what she was really talking about. ”Honey, I think you mean… your tonsils.” My slightly embarrassed daughter eeks out “Oh, yeah. That’s what I meant.”
So much for being open and honest with body parts…
I need to exercise!!
Date Added: January 14th, 2008
Yesterday I was playing volleyball with some parents and kids. I’m an amateur, but I was having fun and working up a sweat. Some how…it felt like more than just ’sweat’ down there. Another mom says, ‘ Wow, I am working up a sweat!’ . I quickly added, ‘Yeah, me too. No matter what I do, I sweat everywhere!!’
I wanted to add that part just in case she could tell I was leaking!! It was my own private chickenpucker moment, as I didn’t tell anyone. I better Kegel or I will have some serious chickenpucker moments in my future!! Darn that birthing process!! I don’t think I am alone in this, am I? I would love to here your chickenpucker leakage stories!! - Beth, Lawton, MI
Joys of motherhood
Date Added: January 12th, 2008
It was a long trip from Pennsylvania to Michigan. We were packed like sardines; my husband, our two kids, a dog and me in our little escape. Let’s not forget that it’s the holidays and we are staying for at least a week with friends and family. So after 10 and a half long hours snuggled up with suitcases, bags, and pillows we were beside ourselves at seeing the “Welcome to Michigan” sign. Hurray! Only another hour to go. We were all so tired (we had a late start), and the kids were definitely ready for bed. Just as they had snuggled in for the last leg of our trip, a lovely Michigan ice Storm hit. In no time at all my husband was white knuckling the steering wheel, and we were watching cars sliding off into the median. Suddenly my youngest son wakes up crying and taking off his seat belt. He’s not making any sense as he begins standing up in the backseat. My husband is leaning further over the steering wheel trying to see while keeping us on the road, and I am trying to figure out just want the heck my son is doing. Talk about sleep walking! I don’t even think his eyes were open as he began to pull down his pants. No! panic sets in as I quickly realize that he means to relieve himself right now! So I do what any sane mother would do and grab the nearest empty cup, placing it strategically in what I determined was the best possible position. Of course I wasn’t planning on the car hitting a bumpy spot in the road. My son falls backward…and yes…there I was getting sprayed in the face! Yuk! Yuk! Yuk! Now we were both crying. Oh the joys of motherhood. —name withheld to protect the innocent and my dignity—